


There Will Be Time

by arianrhod1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mommy Issues, Slow Burn, at least that's what I'm going for, sad but hopeful, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianrhod1/pseuds/arianrhod1
Summary: Marlene McKinnon and her mother died in a Death Eater attack on Marlene's twenty-first birthday, in 1981. But her memory is far from gone, Remus Lupin realizes after meeting Marlene's younger sister.After she and her friends left Hogwarts in 1978, Marlene McKinnon began training in the Auror Office and worked for the Order of the Phoenix. But the war wasn't the only thing hanging over her head - she was also navigating a difficult relationship with her mother.I'll try to warn about sensitive topics in the notes at the beginning of each chapter! Also, my family is from the UK/Ireland but I grew up in the US so I apologize if the slang sounds a bit American.(taking a break from posting rn because of other things, but I still plan on finishing! I have a lot already written)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 2





	1. The Graveyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with grief and loss - be kind to yourself!

**15 July 1994**

“You know, I always had some idea that it would just be the three of us.”

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin. “The… three of us?”

“Yeah.” Mary squeezed his arm. “You, me, and Marlene. I just didn’t think it’d be like this.”

 _Thank Merlin._ Remus had thought she’d meant… well, it didn’t matter now. “What did you think it would be like?” he wondered as they strolled down the path through the churchyard. The sun had broken through the clouds, and it was nice as any day Remus had spent in Aberystwyth. 

“Well, we all knew James and Lily would have been busy with four hundred children. Peter would’ve married some Ministry woman and had a respectable little family, you know?”

“And Sirius?” asked Remus, staring at the black dog frolicking ahead. 

“I dunno,” Mary admitted, tossing her shiny black hair. Remus had started to go grey at nineteen, but Mary was still as youthful at thirty-four as she had been then. In that, she took after her Jordanian mother more than her Scottish father. 

“Do you think he’ll try to find you?” she whispered after a moment. 

Remus’s eyes burned. “I think he’s already trying.”

“I don’t think he did it,” whispered Mary, and he saw tears on her face. “I never believed it, I told you it was a set up.”

She had. And he’d had none of it. But now…

He wrapped his arm around her waist. “You’re right. I know you are. I’m sorry I ever doubted it.”

He’d have to tell her soon. The guilt was overwhelming, yet his promise to Dumbledore bound him. Remus could live with guilt. He’d been guilty since he was five years old. 

“We’ll find him, yeah?” she asked earnestly. “We can keep him safe. We’ll figure it out!”

It almost brought Remus to tears: even after all these years, after all she’d been through, Mary MacDonald was willing to defy the whole wizarding world for him. 

They drew to a halt in front of two plaques of plain grey stone. The black dog whined and wagged its tail, sitting beside Remus. _Rhiannon Gruffydd McKinnon, 1941-1981_ , read the first one. _Marlene Rhiannon McKinnon, 1960-1981_ , read the second. A verse was inscribed on each plaque, and Remus read them once more:

 _The world did gaze in deep amaze  
At those fearless ones but few  
Who bore the fight that the freedom’s light  
Might shine through the foggy dew_, read Rhiannon’s. And Marlene’s:

_To and fro in my dreams I will go  
And I kneel and I pray for you  
For slavery fled, o glorious dead  
When you fell in the foggy dew _

It had seemed odd to him at first, that the graves of the two Welsh women would be inscribed with an Irish folk song. But Marlene’s father had been from Connacht, and she was always humming some Irish song. She had even spoken some Irish, once in a while, but not as much or as well as her Welsh. 

“It’s been thirteen years,” said Mary softly. “She would’ve been thirty-four today.”

Remus released a quiet sob, and Mary squeezed his arm again. “I think of her so often,” she whispered, crying too now. “I think of all the things she would have done, all the people she would have helped.”

Remus didn’t know what to say, so he just held her tighter. Mary was so strong that he hadn’t realized it for years, but losing Marlene and Lily had debilitated her in the same way that losing James and Sirius had hurt Remus. 

Maybe that’s why she had married Milo Bones, he mused. The Bones family had been nearly eradicated during the war; only Milo and two of his cousins survived. Milo and Mary understood each other: they didn’t need to find words for the things that couldn’t be explained, because they both felt them. 

They stood there in the graveyard in silence for so long that Remus lost track of the time. He had never been a man of religion, but he found himself nearly praying to Marlene. 

_I’m so sorry it was you and not me. I’d give anything to talk to you one more time. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you._

“Excuse me?” asked a voice with a light Welsh accent. 

For a split second, Remus thought his wish had been granted. A young woman stood down the path from them, the spitting image of Marlene McKinnon, with wavy brown hair, freckles, and the kindest face he could never forget. 

But of course it was not her. Marlene McKinnon died thirteen years ago, on her twenty-first birthday. Once the moment was gone, Remus saw that this woman was shorter than Marlene had been, and dressed more femininely, with her hair cut shorter and styled more neatly than his friend’s had ever been. 

“Yes?” asked Mary politely, while Remus was paralyzed with memory. 

“I know you,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. “You’re Mary MacDonald? And Remus Lupin! You knew Marlene - you went to school with her!”

Mary’s hand twitched, and Remus knew she was reaching for her wand. “Who are you?”

“Wait.” Remus’s voice was raw from crying. “You’re Elizabeth McKinnon, aren’t you? Her little sister.”

The woman nodded. 

“Oh.” Mary’s voice softened. “Oh, of course. I’m so sorry.” She put a hand on Remus’s soldier. “We’ll be going, so you can be alone with them.”

Elizabeth shook her head, eyes wide. They were blue, Remus noticed, where Marlene’s had been green. 

“Please, stay,” she said, with what she probably meant to be a smile. “It’s hard to be alone with them. I - while they were alive, I hardly knew them. You probably spent more time with Marlene while she was alive than I did.”

Mary made a sound of sympathy, but Remus frowned. 

“While she was alive?”

Elizabeth McKinnon’s mouth twitched, and her hands tightened on the strap of her tote bag. She looked from Remus to Mary and back again, and then her expression changed very slightly. “Here.” She knelt on the path, in front of the plaques, and took something from her bag. 

Mary raised her eyebrows at Remus. He shrugged and went to kneel on one side of Elizabeth, Mary on the other. The big black dog sat down next to Remus, leaning on him, and whined quietly. 

On the dirt in between the two plaques, Elizabeth had placed a pink plastic container with a screw-off lid. 

“That’s the product Marlene used to put in her hair,” said Mary, laughing a little. “I can’t believe I remember that.”

“You did share a bathroom with her for eight years,” said Elizabeth. Mary made eye contact with Remus over her head, frowning at him. 

“How do you know that, Elizabeth?” she asked. 

Elizabeth looked between the two of them. “In the few years or so before they died, Mum and Marlene became very interested in an old kind of magic that Mum’s family had practiced hundreds of years ago.”

“Is that where she was always disappearing off to?” wondered Mary. 

Elizabeth nodded. “They were killed right after they figured it out. Literally moments after. You’ll see.”

Chills ran down Remus’s spine. “What is it?”

“Memory.” Elizabeth put a hand on the pink container’s lid. “They thought that if they could allow a memory to be lived by more than one person, they could show that muggles and wizards really aren’t that different. They thought they could stop a war like that from happening again.”

“Is that not just a pensieve?” wondered Remus. He had relived memories in Dumbledore’s pensieve last year, as a Hogwarts professor, and he didn’t relish doing it again. 

But Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s different. You actually get the perspective from the memory. You’ll see.” She began to unscrew the lid. 

“Wait.” Mary put a hand on Elizabeth’s arm, and looked at Remus. “It’s been thirteen years. I don’t know if we should stir up old things.” Her tone was uncharacteristically frightened, almost pleading with Remus to make the decision for her. 

The dog whined again, and Remus looked at him for a moment. Mary was right, he knew - some things, some people, needed to stay dead. But it was Marlene…

He looked at Elizabeth. “Marlene made this memory? And stored it, on purpose?”

She nodded. 

He looked back at Mary. “She wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t want other people to see it. If she didn’t want…. _us_ to see it.” 

In the weeks before that awful July day, Marlene had been excited about something, promising to have something to show her friends soon. She’d told Remus bits and pieces, but he was too distracted by Sirius’s moods to pay her much attention. 

How he regretted that now. 

Mary pursed her lips. “Alright. But should we do it here?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” said Elizabeth. She took off the lid, and Remus could see that the container was filled with swirling golden fibers. They gave off a warm glow, and Remus felt a presence he hadn’t known for years. “You’ll see, it feels like years but we’ll be right -” 

She never had a chance to finish, or if she did Remus couldn’t hear it. His stomach dropped like he was falling, and the warm golden light was all around him until it was all he could see and feel. 

A new sensation came, a sound and smell. Both were sweet - the sound of people talking all around, and the smell of good food and drink. 

Marlene McKinnon sat in a two-seater booth in the corner of the Three Broomsticks. Her stomach roiled and she couldn’t stop tapping her foot. She reached up to tap her left breast pocket, and the sound of paper crinkling came. The letter was still there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The verses are from "The Foggy Dew", a folk song about the 1916 Easter Rising in Dublin. I recommend listening to it - the Dubliners' live version is my favorite!


	2. Summer 1978: Rhiannon, and the Auror Office

**Late June 1978**

_Dearest Marlene,_

_Congratulations on your acceptance into the Auror Office! I was so excited when I heard - we only took a very few trainees this year. The war is getting very dangerous, and we can’t be taking on students who would hinder us. But you know this._

_I know that you may not want to hear from me, but I want you to know how proud I am of you. I cannot take credit for the woman you are becoming, but I would like to be part of your life again. If you’ll have me. Can we meet for tea some time before you begin at the Office? If not, I understand._

_All my love,  
Rhiannon Gruffydd_

The letter lived in Marlene’s inner coat pocket, right against her heart. The folds on the paper were so worn that she feared opening it now, but she knew the words by heart. The most interesting one to her was the last: Gruffydd, her mother’s maiden name. The last she’d heard, her father and siblings were in Boston, safe from the war. 

She’d left a year and a half ago, when they told her they were separating. It had been too much to deal with, and she did not regret her decision. But now…

“Can I help you, dearie?”

Marlene looked up to see Rosmerta smiling at her. “No, thank you! Just waiting for someone.”

The Three Broomsticks was crowded for a weekday afternoon. Marlene usually didn’t like a busy atmosphere, but the buzz of chatter around the pub calmed her today. So long as they were in public, her mother couldn’t pull anything too crazy. 

The bell over the door rang, and a red-haired witch in dark green robes stepped in. Marlene’s stomach churned, but she stood and waved the woman over. 

When her eyes landed on Marlene, Rhiannon Gruffydd gave a very small smile and started toward her. Marlene sat again, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. 

“Marlene,” said Rhiannon breathlessly, sitting across from her. 

“Hi, Mum.” Marlene forced herself to meet her mother’s eyes. They were just as green as she remembered, just as bright. It had only been a year and a half - she didn’t know why she was so surprised to see that her mother hadn’t changed much. 

“Hands?” Her mother held up her own. Marlene didn’t understand but offered both of her hands. 

“Oh, thank goodness.” Rhiannon smiled. “I was afraid you’d be engaged or even married.”

“What?” yelped Marlene. “To who?”

“That Remus lad, perhaps?” Her mother shrugged. “I know it’s silly, but I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”

Marlene pursed her lips. Her parents had married at eighteen and had her at nineteen, just barely out of school. “I don’t think there’s much danger of that, Mum.”

Rosmerta came back, a wooden platter in one hand. “Can I get anything for you ladies this afternoon?”

“I’ll have spiced cider.” Rhiannon looked to Marlene. “Anything for you, dear? I’m paying.”

Marlene didn’t like the idea of being in debt to Rhiannon, but it wasn’t worth fighting over. “Just tea, please.”

“Where are you living?” asked Rhiannon once Rosmerta had gone. “With Remus?”

 _Christ, Mum, what is it about Remus?_ Marlene wanted to ask, but she knew better. She shook her head. “In London. With Lily and Mary.” 

“Cider for you!” Rosmerta was back. “And tea for the young lady!”

“Thank you.” Marlene smiled at the barmaid before looking back at her mother. “So, you and dad…?”

Rhiannon sipped her cider daintily. “Oh, nothing is for sure. He’s in Boston working with MACUSA until it’s safe to come back. The young ones love Ilvermorny, so I’m told.”

Marlene nodded. She’d heard the same thing, in the few letters she’d gotten from her father and younger siblings over the past year. 

The conversation continued easily for the better part of the afternoon. Marlene had forgotten just how pleasant Rhiannon could be when she wanted to. She didn’t press Marlene on anything, but asked plenty of questions. How had her NEWTS gone? How were Lily and Mary? Did she like London? Did she need anything?

NEWTS had gone about as well as Marlene had expected, which was to say, exceptionally. Mary was working as an intern in the Wizengamot, and Lily had started Healer training at St. Mungo’s. She liked London, but of course she couldn’t like anything so much as Aberystwyth. No, she didn’t need anything. 

At some point they slipped into Welsh, then back into English, then Welsh again. Marlene had missed the Welsh as much as anything about her mother - Remus’s mother was Welsh as well, and he could understand it quite well, but he always answered her in English. 

“I like your necklace,” said Rhiannon with a smile. 

Marlene looked down. She’d forgotten she was wearing it - a simple chain with a grey steel Big Dipper on it. “Oh, _diolch_!” She paused, deliberating. “Dad sent it to me last year.”

Rhiannon nodded. “He said you’d written to him a time or two. Is it from Boston?”

“No, it’s his mum’s. Apparently the Dipper was a symbol for Irish freedom, or something?” Both of her father’s parents were muggle Republicans from Galway. 

“It’s lovely.” Rhiannon reached across the table to put her hands over Marlene’s. “Darling, I don’t want to keep you all night. I’ve really enjoyed talking with you, though, and I want to have a relationship with you. If you want the same.”

Marlene thought about it for a moment. She didn’t regret leaving, and Rhiannon’s kind words could not wipe away the sting of memory. Still….

“Sure,” she said, trying to smile at her mother. “We can try.”

Rhiannon looked like she could cry with happiness. “You know the phone number. Still the same house, in Aberystwyth.”

They stood to leave the tavern, and Rhiannon looked up at Marlene. “Is it possible that you’ve gotten taller since I last saw you?”

That made Marlene laugh aloud. “I don’t think so! Have you shrunk?”

Rhiannon laughed too as they stepped out into the temperate evening. “I hope not!” 

They stopped a few meters down the cobblestone street. Rhiannon pulled Marlene tight to her, and Marlene embraced her mother back. It was awkward, but in a good way - a way that she could see it happening again. 

“It was so lovely to see you, _cariad_ ,” Rhiannon whispered into Marlene’s hair. She pulled away and smiled at her daughter, the corners of her eyes crinkling with happiness. “I’ll see you next week in the Auror Office?”

Marlene nodded. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Mum.”

She watched as Rhiannon Gruffydd turned on her heel and then disappeared. 

Marlene decided to pop by Honeydukes to pick up chocolate frogs for Remus. The full moon had been nearly a week ago, but it had been a particularly bad one for her friend - he’d returned two days later covered in dirt and scratches and refused to tell anyone where he had been. 

They all knew why - Order business. All of Marlene’s friends had decided to join the Order of the Phoenix after graduating from Hogwarts, but Remus was especially valuable to Dumbledore’s cause. He’d been bitten by the notorious werewolf Fenrir Greyback when he was just five years old, and now Greyback was assembling a pack to fight for Lord Voldemort. 

She wouldn’t think of that, not now. As she stood in line to buy the chocolate, Marlene’s eyes wandered toward the door to the back storeroom. In that room, underneath stacked crates of supply, there was a trapdoor to a passage that led to Hogwarts. Remus had taken her through it a few times, when he wanted to use the Hogsmeade phone booth or spend an afternoon off the Hogwarts grounds. He’d told her about a passage to the Hog’s Head as well, but Marlene didn’t drink, so she found no interest in that. 

“I can help you!” A young woman stood at the register smiling at her. Marlene smiled back and placed the chocolate frogs on the counter. 

“Can I wrap these for you?” asked the cashier, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear. She was so pretty that Marlene had to stop herself from staring. 

“Um, sure. Yes, please.” Why had she said that? It was just for Remus, she didn’t need it wrapped. Marlene felt her cheeks reddening, but the girl’s smile just widened. 

“I love your style,” she said to Marlene as she reached for her wand. 

“Thank you!” Marlene didn’t know what to make of that. She was wearing baggy jeans and a collared shirt under her old coat. All of it was wrinkled, and just a bit too big for her. “I like yours too!” This compliment at least made sense: the girl was dressed much more fashionably in a pink miniskirt and white buttoned blouse. 

The cashier smiled at Marlene again, looking up from under her long eyelashes. “ _Chartam._ ” She pointed her wand at the chocolate frogs and suddenly they were wrapped up in shiny silver paper with a white bow. “Is this good?”

“Fantastic! Thank you.”

It didn’t hit her until she was out of the store and halfway down the block, and she wanted to kick herself for it. The cashier was flirting with her! She looked down, re-evaluating her outfit. If it was that obvious, she might have to be a bit more feminine at work… 

The thought made her head hurt, but that was a problem for another day. Right now, the sun was still up, and even Hogsmeade was warmer than usual. There was a half-full takeout container of fried rice in her fridge in London - that was, if Lily or Mary hadn’t found it yet. And, best of all, the conversation with her mother had gone well. 

Marlene found an empty spot on the cobblestones outside of Honeydukes and imagined the street corner two blocks from her flat in London. She spun on her heel and felt the familiar tugging sensation in her stomach that meant she was going home. 

… 

**1 July 1978**

“Excuse me, but could you tell me where the Auror Office is located?”

The clerk was a middle-aged woman with shiny brown hair. “Oh, bless you! You must be one of the new trainees? They’re bringing you in on weekends, now?”

Marlene smiled at the woman and nodded. “Today’s the first day.”

“Fifth floor hallway. Take that elevator, the other one’s being serviced.”

Marlene looked to where the clerk pointed. “Thank you!”

“Thank _you_ , dearie!” The woman’s smile had turned sad. “Bless your soul.”

Marlene’s stomach churned as she walked to the elevator. _7:48, 1 JULY 1978_ , read the great rolling banner on the upper wall of the atrium. July first, mused Marlene as she waited. So the day had come, at last.

It had all begun with the letter. 

_15 March 1978_

_To Miss Marlene Rhiannon McKinnon:_

_We at the Auror Office are impressed with your application, and we are pleased to offer you a spot in our ranks. Pending satisfactory results on your NEWT examinations, we would like to invite you to begin your Auror training with us on 1 July of this year at our London office. After a period of office and practical training, we will decide whether you are to continue in the Auror Program._

_We look forward to meeting you and beginning your training with us!_

_Most sincerely,  
Victoria Bones  
Head of the Auror Office  
Ministry of Magic _

Marlene couldn’t believe it. She kept quiet for two whole days, sleeping with the letter beneath her pillow and half-expecting it to disappear in the night like a dream. 

On the third morning, there had been another letter. This one appeared on her plate at breakfast:

_Miss McKinnon,_

_Please be in my office at 4 this afternoon for tea._

_M. McGonagall_

_P.S. - Congratulations on your acceptance into the Auror program! I cannot say I am surprised, given your performance._

“What’s that?” yawned Lily, sliding onto the bench beside Marlene. 

“Professor McGonagall wants to see me this afternoon,” said Marlene. 

“What about?”

Marlene shrugged. 

“D’you think it’s about you being an Auror?” asked Peter from across the table, mouth full of waffle. 

“What? You got in?” Lily’s eyes widened. “Marlene, why didn’t you say anything?”

Marlene glared at Peter. “What was that for?”

He nearly choked on his waffle trying to apologize. “Christ, I’m so sorry. My mum mentioned it, I didn’t realize you were keeping it quiet.”

She hadn’t been. Not really. Just waiting to make sure it was real…

At four pm sharp, she had knocked on McGonagall’s office door. “Come in!” called the professor. 

Marlene opened the door to find that she wasn’t alone. Professor Dumbledore sat next to McGonagall, and a tall red-haired man stood behind them.

“What’s going on?” asked Marlene, immediately on edge. “Fabian?”

Fabian Prewett grinned at her. He’d gotten taller since leaving Hogwarts, but he still bore the mischievous Prewett look. “Hey, Marlene. Long time no see.”

“Why don’t you both sit?” asked McGonagall. “Would either of you like a ginger biscuit?”

Fabian accepted, and Marlene respectfully declined. Her mind whirled - what could possibly merit the presence of both Albus Dumbledore and Fabian Prewett?

Professor McGonagall didn’t leave her waiting long. “Miss McKinnon, once again, congratulations on your acceptance into the Auror program. I’m sure you know, it’s extremely selective, and even more so now than usual. Mr. Prewett can tell you.”

Fabian nodded, chewing his biscuit. “We had hundreds of applicants this year, and we accepted twelve of them. Yourself included.”

Marlene couldn’t help but smile, but she didn’t know what to say. 

Professor Dumbledore smiled kindly at her. “It takes a very special student to even consider applying to the Auror Office. Would you mind telling us what drove you to apply?”

“Um, sure.” Marlene didn’t understand where this was going. “Well, I want to help the Ministry in the war however I can. And I thought this was the best way.” _My mother is an Auror,_ she wanted to say. _All my life I’ve wanted to be just like her._

McGonagall and Dumbledore shared a look. Before Marlene could try to decipher what it meant, Dumbledore was addressing her again. 

“Admirably said, Miss McKinnon. Now, you should know that the Ministry is not the only force fighting Lord Voldemort and his followers. There is another group, called the Order of the Phoenix.”

A shiver ran down Marlene’s spine as he said it. She’d heard that name before, but she couldn’t recall when or where. 

“The Order is a highly secret society dedicated to the eradication of Death Eaters and their philosophy by any means necessary and appropriate,” cut in McGonagall, “and it is comprised of more than just Aurors, but Aurors are incredibly necessary to the Order’s survival. I have observed your character and drive these past seven years at Hogwarts, and I think that the Order of the Phoenix would be more than lucky to have you. Should you decide to join, you will be given missions apart from your work as an Auror. It will be extremely dangerous. I need to tell you that if you decide to join, you may perish in service of the Order.” 

“Hold on,” said Marlene, putting a hand to her forehead. “You want _me_ to join the Order of the Phoenix? I haven’t even started Auror training - I’m seventeen!”

Dumbledore inclined his head to her. “I understand that it seems harsh. If I had a choice, I would not ask this of you. But we live in dangerous times. If you do not wish to join, with your permission, we will wipe your memory and wish you well in Auror training. It will be as if this conversation never happened. If you are interested, Mr. Prewett here can answer any questions you might have about working both as an Auror and for the Order. We can give you a few days to think on it, if you wish.”

She didn’t need the time. “No! I mean, of course I’ll join. I just hope I can be useful.”

Professor McGonagall’s eyes flashed with pride. “I thought you would make this decision. You will be pleased to know that you aren’t the first of your friends to join the Order. Misters Potter, Lupin, and Black have all come to the same decision as you, as well as Miss Dorcas Meadowes and Miss Amelia Bones of Hufflepuff, and I suspect Miss Evans and Miss MacDonald will join when we ask them. Mr. Pettigrew I’m not so sure of, but we will ask him all the same.”

Marlene’s jaw had dropped open at that. “What - how do James and Sirius and Remus know about this?”

McGonagall glanced at Dumbledore before answering. “Many of your friends have family in the Order.”

“Oh.” Marlene dropped her gaze. That meant her mother had not joined. 

“Thank you for your courage, Miss McKinnon,” said Dumbledore. “After your introductory training at the Auror Office, we will ensure that you are assigned to shadow an Auror who is in the Order of the Phoenix - perhaps Mr. Prewett! We’ll be in contact after your NEWTS. Until then, speak of this to no one.”

Nearly six months later, it was beginning. And Marlene was ready.

 _Ding!_ The elevator door opened. She waited for the two men inside to get off, then stepped inside. On a Saturday morning, the Ministry was nearly empty. 

_Calm down!_ she chided herself. It was so silly, but she felt her heart pounding as the elevator rose. 

_Ding!_ She wasn’t ready, but would she ever be? The elevator door slid open, and Marlene stepped out, onto the fifth floor. 

The entire fifth floor was the Auror office, she soon realized. While the lower levels of the Ministry had been near-deserted, that was not the case here. Black-robed witches and wizards hurried up and down the hallway, talking in hushed tones. Marlene suddenly became aware of the fact that she had exactly zero idea where to go. 

“McKinnon!” Marlene winced before recognizing Alice Perry. The dark-haired witch grinned at her. “Merlin, it’s been too long.”

“Perry!” Marlene smiled right back. “It has.”

Alice brought up her left hand, showing off a shiny diamond on the ring finger. “It’ll be Alice _Longbottom_ soon,” she said with a wink.

Marlene’s jaw dropped. “He proposed? Frank proposed?” At Hogwarts, Alice had always been the loud, daring one, Gryffindor Quidditch captain known for shouting at the other team. Frank Longbottom had always been more than content to sit on the sidelines, admiring Alice’s fiery spirit. 

Alice laughed with joy. “Only after years of me heavily hinting at if, of course.” She looked around and dropped her tone. “How was Potter as quidditch captain? Be honest, now!”

It was Marlene’s turn to chuckle. “He was good. Not as good as you, of course! He drilled us pretty hard, but nothing I hadn’t seen with Ruth.”

“Good, good!” Alice laughed. “I wanted you to be captain, you know. Oh, did you hear about Anna Finnigan? She plays for the Kenmare Kestrals now!”

There was that awful feeling in her stomach again. “Uh, yeah! She told me.”

“I’d best get you to Bones, now,” said Alice, starting off toward the far end of the floor. “Dunno what she’s going to do with you, though…”

“Where are the others?” asked Marlene, hurrying to keep pace. 

Alice frowned. “Others?”

“Other trainees? Fabian Prewett said you took twelve this year.”

“Oh.” Alice’s frown turned to a grimace. “About that. Well, Fab told it true, we took twelve - but what with the attacks and all, a few decided not to join the Office.”

That made sense. She’d read it in the _Daily Prophet_ : Voldemort’s supporters were getting bolder. Three families had been targeted in June, and the awful Dark Mark had gone up over all their homes. 

“How many joined, then?”

“Well, seven signed up to join the Office. Before the attacks, that is.”

“And now?”

Alice came to a stop in front of a closed office door. “Now there’s one.”

Marlene’s jaw dropped. “There’s just _one_ other trainee?”

Alice winced. “One total.”

The office door opened before Marlene could respond, and a woman in black robes stepped out. Her gray hair was pulled into an austere low bun, and the sternness in her spectacled gaze reminded Marlene of Professor McGonagall. She stood half a head shorter than Marlene, but her presence was imposing all the same. Though they had only met once or twice before, Marlene immediately recognized Victoria Bones, head of the Auror Office. 

“Marlene McKinnon,” she said, unsmiling. “Welcome to the Auror Office.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Marlene bowed her head. 

“Thank you, Miss Perry,” said Madam Bones, dismissing Alice with a wave of her hand. She examined Marlene over her glasses. “Please, come in.”

Marlene followed her into the office. It was as austere as its owner, neatly organized and devoid of all personality. Madam Bones sat behind a wooden desk, and Marlene remained standing.

“You are the only one of hundreds of applicants to begin training with us this year.”

“Alice said.” Marlene shifted her weight back and forth. “Can I ask - does that worry you?”

Madam Bones raised both eyebrows. “Not particularly. I would rather have one qualified trainee than a hundred squibs.”

Marlene nodded, looking at her shoes again. 

“And you are supremely qualified, Miss McKinnon,” continued Madam Bones. “Top of your class at Hogwarts. Glowing recommendation letters from Professors Slughorn and McGonagall. Excellent OWL and NEWT results, particularly in practical exams. You did quite well for yourself.”

“Thank you.” Marlene fought the urge to mumble. 

“But no amount of book learning, or even practical training will prepare you for the things we face here in the Auror Office. We’ve had to divert all low-level law enforcement to other Ministry offices and focus nearly our full resources on the peculiar cult calling themselves the Death Eaters. The risks are immense, to both yourself and your loved ones. I spoke to your mother; it’s a good thing that your father and siblings are in the States.”

Marlene’s stomach felt very heavy again. She nodded. 

Madam Bones’s eyes flicked up and down Marlene, taking in her plain black robes. “Robes are fine for office work, but given the unpredictable nature of our jobs now, I ask that you wear muggle clothing unless otherwise instructed. Business casual will do, and clothing you can easily move about in. Casual is fine if you’re called in on weekends. No silly heels or tight skirts, do you hear?”

Marlene frowned. “But, won’t I be working in the office for the first few months? Isn’t that the protocol?”

Madam Bones pursed her lips, as if this was a stupid question. “As you pointed out, we are short-staffed. I don’t have time to coddle you.” Her eyes flicked to the door, and she raised her wand. “ _Muffliato_.” She fixed her gaze on Marlene once more. “As head of the Auror Office, it would not be proper for me to join the Order of the Phoenix, but Dumbledore keeps me as well informed as I need to be on its dealings. I understand that you have joined; as have about one third of my Aurors. Most of the others at least know of the order. You aren’t to speak of it at work, though - Order business is not Auror business, though we share a common goal. Do you understand?”

Marlene nodded. 

“Good. That said, I’ve assigned you to shadow an Order member, on Dumbledore’s wishes. He’s out on assignment today, but on Monday you will begin accompanying him on assignments. Do you know Gideon Prewett?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” For the first time, Madam Bones smiled. “The rest of today is about filling your paperwork and getting your bearings in the office. I’ll have Miss Perry show you around.”

Marlene gave a small smile in return. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to post at least once more this week! :)


	3. Summer 1978: Eighteen

“D’you have any plans for the weekend, McKinnon?” asked Gideon as he flipped through the papers on his desk. It was five in the evening on a Friday night, and they just needed to get the okay to leave from Madam Bones. 

“Yeah, it’s my birthday tomorrow,” said Marlene brightly. “Some friends and I are getting dinner.”

“Oh, happy birthday! You’ll be eighteen, then?”

Marlene nodded. “A muggle adult.”

Gideon smiled at her. “Tell you what, go ahead and go home. I can check in with Bones, it doesn’t have to be the both of us.”

Marlene had a spring in her step as she left the ministry that evening. Two weeks shadowing Gideon Prewett had gone smoothly - no confrontations with Death Eaters yet, thank Merlin. She’d accompanied him on a few house raids, and to various meetings with Ministry officials, but not much else. Gideon was a bit harsher and less fun than his twin brother Fabian, but they got on quite well, and he was an excellent teacher. 

The first-floor lobby was packed with Ministry workers leaving their jobs for the weekend, but she couldn’t help but smile as she waited in line for Floo powder. 

**15 July 1978**

“Lily, do you have my eyeshadows?”

“No, they’re in the bathroom! On the counter?”

Mary came into the bathroom behind Marlene. “There they are! Oh, Marls, your hair looks so good!”

Marlene grinned and tossed her head to one side. She normally didn’t care much for styling her hair, but Mary had convinced her to put it in curlers for tonight. It was naturally rather wavy, but the curlers had given it more pattern and less friz. “It looks like when you did it for Slughorn’s Christmas party fifth year, doesn’t it?”

The memory got a laugh out of Mary. “Oh, I remember that!” She leaned toward the mirror, layering on bright eyeshadow. She’d curled her hair, too: it hung halfway down her back, black and shining. 

“There.” She had finished. “I think my dad would have a heart attack if he saw me, don’t you?”

Marlene smiled. “I think you look nice!”

Mary raised both eyebrows. “That’s what I meant!”

They both dissolved into laughter, earning a disapproving shout from Lily. “C’mon! We’re running late as is!”

Mary rolled her eyes. “You know James and Sirius will be half an hour late.”

“But I invited Cassie and Amelia too!” Lily popped her head around the corner and beamed at Marlene. “Ooh, looking good, birthday girl!”

Lily squeezed into the bathroom between them and they all stood examining themselves in the mirror. Beside both her friends in their miniskirts, Marlene couldn’t help but feel awkward in her dark green bell-bottoms and denim jacket. “I don’t look too… you know…”

Lily kissed her on one cheek. “You look wonderful, love. Let’s get going!”

Lily herded them out of the apartment and down the stairs, giggling all the way. The restaurant was four blocks away from their London flat - a muggle restaurant Marlene had chosen. She’d considered the Leaky Cauldron, but found she didn’t want to run into anyone else from the wizarding world. 

“Reservation for McKinnon?” Lily asked at the counter. The hostess smiled at her and pointed them along. 

“There’s two already there, you’ll see it!”

Indeed, Cassie Meadowes and Amelia Bones had come early. They both stood up and hugged Marlene. Though they’d all been in the same year at Hogwarts, she didn’t know either girl particularly well. Still, her friends had invited them: Amelia was Madam Bones’s niece and interned with Mary at the Wizengamot, and Cassie trained at St. Mungo’s with Lily. 

“Happy birthday,” said Cassie breathlessly, cheeks red from the warmth of the restaurant. 

“Thanks!” Marlene felt her own face warming. 

“Hey, birthday girl!” roared a familiar voice. Marlene turned around just as Sirius rammed into her, grabbing her about the waist and spinning her around. In a leather jacket and black jeans, he was as beautiful as ever, and his black hair fanned out around him as he spun. 

“Sirius!” she scolded when he put her down, but she couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Hiya, Marlene!” James hugged her from the side before kissing Lily and sitting down beside her.

That just left Remus. He gave a little wave, and she threw her arms around him. 

“Doing any better?” she whispered. When she’d seen him to give him the chocolate frogs, he was pale and shaky, still healing from the full moon. 

“Yeah, lots!” He pulled away and grinned at her, but his eyes still looked puffy and tired. 

James addressed Marlene as she sat at the end of the table. “Pete can’t make it. Said to tell you he’s really sorry; he’s got some kind of meeting I think? Seemed really nervous about it.”

“Where does he work again?” asked Amelia from the other end of the table. 

“Office of Magical Law Enforcement.” James grinned. “He’s got more of a desk job, not like Marls out hunting Death Ea-.”

“Sh!” Lily gestured to the waiter coming their way. 

“Can I get you lads and ladies anything to start?” he asked, smiling a little too long at Mary. 

She twirled a strand of hair around one finger and smiled back at him. “Not yet. We’re still waiting on someone.”

“I’ll be back in a moment!” He left with a wink.

Sirius frowned at Mary. “James just said, Pete’s not coming.”

Mary’s eyes were fixed on a point over Marlene’s shoulder. “Not Pete.”

“Hey, Marlene.”

Marlene jumped up, out of her seat. Behind her stood a tall blond girl, green eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Oh my god.” Marlene took a step backward. “Anna?”

Anna Finnigan stepped toward her. “Happy birthday.”

Marlene felt her face reddening. “I didn’t think you’d be here!” she jabbered nervously. “I thought you were still in Kenmare?”

“We had a scrimmage in London today. Thought I might drop by to see ya.”

“Oh!” Marlene laughed nervously. “It’s nice to see - oh!”

Anna grabbed her face and kissed her full on the mouth. 

Marlene pulled away, mouth wide open. “What was that?” She glanced back at the table. Most of them politely looked away, but Cassie’s eyes were wide and Sirius wolf-whistled. Mary slapped him. She turned back to Anna, scandalized. “You can’t just do that! We’re in public!”

“Birthday gift for ya.” Anna dropped into the seat next to Marlene’s, looking around the table innocently. “Oh, did they not know you’re a lesbian? Well, they-”

“Don’t pay any attention to her, she’s drunk,” cut in Marlene, rolling her eyes. Most of them had known - except maybe Amelia and Cassie, but she wasn’t sure. 

“I’m not drunk!” protested Anna. 

“Anna called a while ago and said she’d be in town this weekend,” said Mary, cutting through the tension. “We thought we’d invite her tonight.”

“Wonderful idea,” deadpanned Marlene to laughter around the table. Thankfully, Amelia was laughing too. Cassie wouldn’t look at Marlene, but she found she didn’t mind that much with Anna there.

Dinner went about as well as she could have expected. Anna and James spent about half of it arguing about quidditch, to Lily’s intense annoyance and Sirius’s enjoyment. Everyone drank, save Marlene and Remus, but Anna in particular went heavy on the liquor. By the time everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to Marlene over cake (“No firecrackers!” Lily threatened James and Sirius. “This is a muggle restaurant!”), Anna was slurring her words and laughing far too much. 

“We can take her for the night!” offered Mary after they had bid the others goodnight, but Marlene shook her head. 

“I’ll just walk her back to her room.” Marlene grimaced. “I don’t… I don’t think you want her over.” 

In London, the Kenmare Kestrels had elected to stay in a muggle hotel rather than bother with apparating back to Kenmare after their scrimmage that afternoon. It was only a few blocks’ walk, and the night was warm. 

Out on the street, Anna leaned hard on Marlene, humming loudly. 

“What’re you humming?” huffed Marlene, slipping Anna’s arm around her shoulders to prop her up better. 

“ _Wasn’t it the truth I told ye, lots of fun at Finnegan’s wake!_ ” she sang, badly off-key. “My sister got married last month and they thought it would be funny to play. _Finnegan’s Wake_ at Finnigan’s wedding.”

“She married that muggle?” Marlene had heard plenty about Anna’s sister’s muggle boyfriend over the years. 

“Mm-hm. He’s so in love with her, poor lad. Even took her last name ’cause he liked it better than his! He had some stupid Protestant name, Wylie or something...” 

“Does he know she’s a witch?” Marlene had always wondered how that worked with marrying muggles. 

“He does now! Statute o’ Secrecy says you can’t tell ‘em till you’re married - bit of a nasty shock for poor mister Finnigan when he found out, huh?”

Marlene couldn’t help but laugh at that. Anna laughed too, sounding more coherent than she’d been just moments ago. 

“I’m not really that drunk, you know,” she said after a minute. “I can hold my liquor better than your Saxon pals.”

Marlene rolled her eyes. Anna always found a way to bring up that both she and Marlene were Irish. “I know.”

“But it’s a good excuse to get you alone.” Anna’s hand slipped down to Marlene’s waist, and she jerked away. 

“Who said that’s what I wanted?”

Anna shrugged. “You? When you decided to come back with me?”

Marlene rolled her eyes. “You shouldn’t have kissed me at the table.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.” They’d reached the hotel, a cheap little place with a flickering VACANCY sign. Anna pulled open the door and stood holding it. “After you, m’lady.”

She wanted to leave, just because it would make Anna mad. But it had been a while… 

Marlene stepped through the door and into the hotel lobby. 

“Hah! Knew your iron will would bend to my -”

“You were apologizing?” Marlene couldn’t stand to hear Anna gloat. 

“Yeah. Well, most of them already knew, didn’t they?”

“James, Sirius and Remus caught us with the invisibility cloak fifth year, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Anna fumbled in her pocket. “You were so frightened. Kinda funny.”

“It was not funny!” protested Marlene. “I thought they’d tell everyone!”

“But they didn’t.” Anna gave an exasperated sigh. “I knew I’d lose the key. Here, this is the one.”

They’d stopped in front of room 114. Anna looked both ways up and down the empty hallway, then whispered, “ _Alohomora_ ,” and tapped the doorknob with her wand. 

“No, they didn’t,” agreed Marlene as they stepped into the hotel room. It was small and dimly lit, Marlene thought, but at least it looked clean. “And I told Mary and Lily not too long after that. But Amelia and Cassie didn’t know, I don’t think.”

“Is Cassie the dark-skinned one?” asked Anna as if she had not gone to school with Dorcas Meadowes for six years. “She’s a pretty one. Glaring at me the whole night. I reckon she’s got a crush on you.”

Marlene scoffed at that, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “More like she was disgusted at you snogging me out at a restaurant in front of all them.”

“Oh, my bad.” Anna grinned and leaned down over Marlene. “Better if I do it here then?”

She didn’t give Marlene a chance to answer. 

… 

By the time a weak grey light started shining through the moth-eaten curtains, neither of them had slept much. Anna yawned and stretched as Marlene went to get dressed. 

“I guess I’ve got to get back to Kenmare,” she said, just a little sadly. 

“I guess you’ve got to,” echoed Marlene, buttoning her shirt. “It was nice seeing you.”

She could almost hear the devilish grin on Anna’s face when she replied. “It was nice _seeing_ you too. D’you reckon we could _see_ each other more often?”

It was a bad idea, Marlene knew. She shrugged and turned to face Anna, who now sat upright on the edge of the bed. “I dunno. I’ll just get busier, with Auror training and all.”

“It could work, if you wanted it to.” Anna let it hang in the air between them. 

“It could,” replied Marlene flatly. 

“So why doesn’t it?”

“Well, for starters, there’s a war going on,” huffed Marlene. “And just because you and your Kestrels are ignoring it doesn’t mean I can.”

“Why not?” The question was genuine - they always were. That was Anna. “You could come to Kenmare. Hell, we could even go to Boston, with your da and the kids? Stay there until things blow over.”

“No, Anna, _you_ could do that. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“We lead very different lives, Anna.”

“Different how?”

Marlene shook her head. “I don’t think you’d understand.”

Anna swung her legs out of the bed and put a gentle hand on Marlene’s arm. “Then explain it to me.”

Marlene did. Anna sat in silence while she talked, and nodded when she was done. 

“I’ve got it now. No worries, huh?” She grinned. “I’ll call you when I’m in town again.”

“Have you not been listening?” demanded Marlene. “I’ve just told you I can’t be with you, did you hear me?”

“Yeah, I heard you. Just because we aren’t seeing each other doesn’t mean we can’t _see_ each other.”

Marlene rolled her eyes, fighting a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Anna indicates, the song she's humming is "Finnegan's Wake". I'd recommend the Irish Rovers version :)


End file.
